If Only the Incessant Screaming In My Helmet Would Stop....

It's pretty much a given that motorcyclists like twisty roads. We don't usually like the straight route to anywhere and in fact will seek out the twistiest road we can. First Lobster and I have covered twice the distance of the straight road to go someplace by the twisty road and been happier for it.

However, I pretty much suck at corners. FL has spent a lot of time on the side of twisty roads in various parts of Canada and the U.S. waiting for me to catch up. He has a bike which is heavier and has a lower centre of gravity, and...he's a better driver than me, so he rocks the corners.

This year I took a cornering course to see if I could improve enough to keep up. It was held in a church parking lot in Edmonton, so, not a lot of corners to practice on, but still, I learned and practiced the 10 steps of cornering. I was ready when vacation rolled around to.. Well.... swiftly roll around some corners.

So let me tell you what it was like..... And keep in mind, this is after a full day of practice in the parking lot.

FL's rule of thumb while cornering in the USA is to take the "suggested" cornering speed in miles per hour, double it, add 10 or more percent and then take the corner in that number as kilometres per hour. He LOVES 35 mph curves and routinely takes them at about 90-100 kph. Sometimes he rolls around them with his feet still resting up on top of his pegs, although occasionally he does actually condescend enough to put his feet on the foot pegs the way they are supposed to be.

This is how I take a 35 mph curve... "OK, 35 mph. Am I in a state that is conservative in their estimate of suggested cornering speed (Idaho), one that haphazardly decides to or not to put up a sign whenever they want (California) or am I in the state that really MEANS the suggested speed (if only I couls actually remember which state that was)? Ok, I'm almost at the corner, I'll downshift two speeds.... No.... That seems a bit fast....downshift another one just to be safe.... Better safe than dead right? Quick-10 steps of cornering.... Inside foot with the toes on the peg (cuz if I am slanted so much in the corner my foot touches the road - that's a BAD thing (and NEVER gonna happen)), knee out, slide ass off towards the inside of the curve, pick turn point, eyes into the turn and.... Ok, now I'm in the turn, ummmmm. Oh yeah, relax the outside arm (and the neck and the face), push with the inside arm. Wait... Relax the thighs too (that's not actually one of the steps, but my thighs are gripping the tank so tightly I'm leaving dents in the tank). NO! My brain screams- you can't relax legs and arms...you might DIE! Next step- big picture vision - head up and look around the corner, not at the road in front of you! Unfortunately- all I can see is the sky... There's a gigantic cliff off the side of the road... My brain is instantly flooded with thoughts of sliding off the road and dying on the long drop to wherever. I hate corners with gigantic drop offs, and corners that are hairpins downhill, and hairpins uphill, and every corner downhill, and all corners I can't see the exit before I've started the corner...so pretty much every corner that is not on the flat part of the desert!

And now the corner is over and it's time to catch my breath from the scream that started way, way back before step one and petered out in a small whimper just as I accelerated out of the turn. And time to start the next turn..... 15 mph? What? No you can't really mean that! And it's an inside turn, so if I skid out I'll slide across traffic and either get run over by oncoming traffic or slam into the rock face Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh .......

The "Gang" experience...

I have ridden with a group of three and four motorbikes before, but most of the time it's a "gang" of two or a motorcycle "duet" of my husband and me.

So what is it like to be a part of the duet...?

When we ride, First Lobster (FL) rides in the front - it is his job to tell the GPS where we want to go, then follow the GPS, and try not to let it kill us... Which it pretty much tries to do on a daily basis. He sets our speed, watches for the tax collectors, and picks the "correct" lane.

As the follow behind, I don't have to watch my speed or figure out where to go to follow that damn GPS... I also have more time to look around at the scenery and read some of the road signs...which means sometimes when the GPS tells us the wrong way I can see the sign telling us the correct way to go. Alas, that means it is too late to get us growing the correct way. Sometimes FL and I have choice "words" about things when we get lost, but not very often.

As the rear rider, it is up to me to be ready at all times to follow FL if he decides at the last second to take the exit, or speed up into a gap or come to an emergency stop on the side of the road (where I also then hang out just a bit more than him and put on my emergency lights). 

This means the majority of the time I have nothing more than a vague sense of where we are going. I have absolutely no idea how long it is going to take us to get there, and if we get separated, I am basically lost.

I could take my turn riding at the front, but if the GPS succeeds in killing us, I don't want it to be my fault.... We even park in the same order....

But what do you "do" on vacation?

When we had young children we used to take them to Kelowna or Vancouver, one year to Las Vegas. Vacation never really began until we got where we were going. All the whining and complaining (mostly from me) about how loooonng it took to get anywhere ensured that vacations were never fun until we had arrived! People say they are going to Los Angeles or Las Vegas or wherever and they have a thing to do there...go to Disneyland or go shopping or the beach or ....something.

Now First Lobster (my husband) and I go on vacations where the end point is just the point on the earth where we will turn around and come back. We came to Los Angeles again this year....why? Because it has good roads to ride our motorbikes on that we haven't been on yet.

Other people can drive to LA in 24 hours, switching drivers and driving straight through - their vacation begins when they get there. We take 6 days to get here (which includes one really light day, or entire day off) so our butts can have a rest.

We will not go to Disneyland. We will go shopping this year, but only because we went to the mall where they filmed Bad Santa or because we "needed" something from the cycle store we don't have in Canada. We will spend our days in the nearby hills/mountains riding twisty roads just for the joy that brings. Yes, there are twisty roads nearer to home, but we've been on a fair number of those and there are a few bragging rights to saying I road my bike "all the way" to LA (and home again too actually).

So see you laters the twisties are calling me to nothing more than drive them!

The Weather and Forest Fires

Riders are very concerned with the weather....or at least we are.

Truth, you will be too hot or too cold at some point- possibly in the same day.

I try and dress for the majority of the day, which in August in the U.S., is hot. So I wear long underwear bottoms and top (special stuff called Heat Out), mesh over pants, mesh jacket and mesh gloves. This is a fantastic option when it's 20C or over, otherwise the jacket is a bit breezy. 

As we climb up into the mountains, the weather can drop by 10 degrees, which means I'll be cold for a while. Sometimes that's nice, sometimes not. I have a thermometer read out on my dashboard and I watch the temperature climb and fall.

Interestingly 2C change can be noticeable. Also there are air pockets like the warm water pockets at the swimming pool, all of a sudden you can feel the temp change even though the thermometer isn't registering it.

In mesh, on the highway, 23-27C is the perfect riding temp. However, in the traffic, 20-23 is great.

We hit 36C yesterday afternoon with a dry wind. My lips were stuck together. I left them that way, because it kept the spit still in my mouth. Today we are riding through the Oregon dessert, because it is less hot than riding through the Nevada dessert. Weather forecasts are no rain and a high of 31, so it might be ok...

The other thing we watch is where the forest fires are and where the smoke is blowing. So far so good this trip but parts of California look bad and might alter where we go.

Here we are, just about to enter the Idaho part of the Lolo forest. Fantastic riding!

Packing for a motorbike trip

People have a myriad of questions when you tell them you are planning a long trip on your motorbike. 

So, yes....my butt will hurt. Yes, I am hot or cold....depending on the weather. Yes, I get wet if it rains.

Now on to one of the other questions....what do we take with us.

I am a master packer...... Even approaching Jedi Master status.

I start with a list divided by function and location I will pack it. So tools in the left box, or electronics bag in the right box. The key to remembering everything is a great list. The key to finding it on the trip is consistency and logic.

In the left box we store things we don't need everyday, such as rain gear (hopefully), tools, and the bag of everything. This has .... well....everything in it. Maps, Lysol wipes, visor cleaner, owner's manual, flashlight....you get the idea. This way we don't need to take the box off at night and haul it up the numerous stairs to our room (which is always on an upper level if the place doesn't have an elevator.  Cuz, you know... There's nothing I want more, after 6-7 hours of arse numbing riding in the heat, while wearing full crash proof clothing, than to haul my luggage up the stairs.

The right box has clothing, meds, electronics, swim stuff and sandals (you only get to bring one pair of shoes beyond your riding pair). So the stuff we need in the hotel room at night. 

The top box has food, drinks, extra gloves and other things we may need to access multiple times during the day. This box also comes into the hotel room...(cuz it might occasionally have alcohol in it).

We bring 4 days worth of clothes (that is all we have room for) and of course, there is laundry soap in the bag of everything!

We don't buy souvenirs usually, but do have expandable space....just in case.....

The REAL Irish pub experience!

Am in Ireland, Dublin specifically, visiting my friend MM. I've only met her mother in the past but last night I met her entire family in the pub. Not just any pub but "their" pub. Are they like any stereotypical family whose pub is at the end of their street? Nawwwwtttttt.....

This is a pub in the middle of Dublin, kind of central for most of the family. It is on a side street in an office area, or at least I think it was an office area, because when we went there after 6 pm, nothing in the area seemed open.

We were supposed to meet at 8 so we showed up about 8:15ish and we were first there. Friday night at the pub..... There are a few tables and more room to stand. It is VERY loud and very crowded. This pub, according to MM, is a real pub. There is NO singing and no music so very, very loud from all the people talking.

Since the tables were taken when we got there, MM, Roisin, my mom and I stood in the middle of an area between four tables and spread up a bit so we took up lots of room. Roisin went to the bar and came back with a round of drinks. Apparently you stand at the bar with money in your hand until you catch the bar man's eye. Since Roisin is 6 feet tall (and wearing heels) and stunning looking, she caught his eye fairly quickly.

So you stand there, try and talk and keep your eyes open for someone to leave a table. People who are not together share tables, so when two people left from the edge of a six person table, we jumped in there and started taking up space. When Tomas and Orla arrived, we took up a bit more space. Now the table was in the corner and the hangers on were getting squished into the corner by our new arrivals. Finally they left and we had won! The corner table to hold all of us was free!

The noise level dropped one or two decibels - just enough so that now I could hear the family but if they weren't looking at me when they were talking I had no idea what they were saying. The fact that they all have accents didn't help much.... I'm a bit disappointed that no one yet has commented on my accent and asked where I am from....today's another day, so fingers crossed!

This pub does not serve food, so you can't show up for dinner and drinks, just drinks. That's why people roll out of the pub at closing time and into the newest chippy. They did sell crisps (potato chips). This pub had Hunky Dory brand name - and they were pretty hunky dory....

People in the pub seem to have no problem standing while they drink. People stood the entire three plus hours they were there. Even when tables opened up, people didn't sit down. The crush of people standing never got less, the standing part was crowded all night.

If you'd like to go to a real Irish pub, not one set up for tourists and need someone to go with, I'm pretty sure I can rent this family (below) out to you for the authentic experience....might cost you a round or two and a few bag of crisps though!

Google probably knows everything....

Soon I will be travelling to Dublin, Ireland to visit my friend MM. Since I will be computer-less and dependent on my IPAD, I have to figure out how to attach pictures from this platform.

So here's a gratuitous shot of my dog, Connor...

And here's a liveome from the camera...

And now I know I can't delete them...hmmm...

Staying Above My Pay Grade

As a guest speaker of the Canadian Association of Hepatology Nurses at the Canadian Digestive Disease week in lovely Banff, Alberta, I was graciously give a room at the Fairmont Banff Springs hotel. I have been here once before...we pulled up outside one of the back entrances and took some lovely pictures of my husband' scar, implying that we either lived or stayed in a castle all the time! Alas, that is woefully untrue.
As I was approaching the hotel, my GPS Kept "recalculating" in the damn snotty voice as if to tell me,"hone, you don't belong up here"! Well, screw her...I finally found the correct driveway and pulled up to the front gate when the first attendant asked if I was checking in. Apparently, bitchy GOS lady had sent him a message saying lost woman coming up the drive and that he should send me elsewhere....cuz, why else would you drive up to the reception area of a hotel.... See, that's the first pay grade mistake....this is a conference place as well, so lots of people probably are here to attend something and just need directions to parking.
     I pulled up into my assigned spot on the curve so Michael could assist me. He greeted me by name, no damn it, I am NOT famous here, the first dude had called up on the radio and told him. Mike was standing at a very odd place, sort of behind my shoulder while telling me what to do next (get out of the car and register you idiot). It took a couple of minutes to figure out he was trying in vain to open my car door while remaining unobtrusive. Ha! I had just driven through....gasp....Calgary....my doors were locked!
    Mike wants to take my luggage for me and have it sent up to my room. Do you think this is the first time two disposable hospital laundry bags full of lunch bags stuffed with pens, band aids and fudge, have been unloaded at the front gate? Because I am travelling onwards after tonight, only a portion of the luggage in my trunk was coming in with me, so I told him only those two bags. Now he thinks, besides needing a lot of lunch, I also don't have any clean underwear!
     The lobby is quite impressive, all stone and high ceilings to look like a castle...looking nothing like real castles in England look of course, but doing a passable imitation of one who most definitely


 will be unable to defend itself from zombie apocalypse. There is only one line to stand in, and it is
labelled,"President's Club", pretty sure the cheapest room of the night does NOT qualify me for that, but I don't see a line labelled, "Peon's Club" so I join up. The lovely ladies checking me in, as well as the two attendants all wanted to know where I've come from today....cuz, you know, Edmonton is such an exciting place.
   When I booked, because I chose the cheapest room, it says right in the description, "lower floor, away from the elevators". To be fair, I was given the opportunity to upgrade to a higher floor for more $, but, why,so the elevator can take longer? So I can see the mountains better! I don't think so. My room was on the "19th" floor. Um..... This hotel doesn't look quite that high.... Sure enough, I am in a wing, in a corner as far from the main desk as you can be. And although I am on the top floor of the building, the bottom floor (ground level) is 16. Hmmm, they count funny here...
     My room is guide nice, including a dish for my dog with a bottle of water and a cookie. People
have to drink out of the sink, but dogs get bottled water! I ate the cookie.....ok, not really, but my dog is going to get a present now!
     I was meeting a group of friends on the second floor of (I thought) the conference room, but nope...the entire other end of the hotel. The hotel may look like a castle, but doesn't have enough serfs hanging around for good directions. When I finally spied one with a name badge, I politely started with, "Do you work here?"...I am, after all at a convention. Her answer was, "Why? Are you security?" Not sure if a) I was a secret shopper trying to check up on her, in which case, rudeness would have made that a fail or b) even in my nice clothes I don't look like I belong? Like the newly promoted secret service agent in a cheap suit? Whatever. I eventually found the right placem where there was a lot of free booze, but only a tiny bit of free food. One glass of champagne and some mouldy cheese later...... Oh, I mean expensive, mouldy on purpose cheese of course!
     This morning I used the indoor and outdoor hot tubs, because...hello...outdoor hot tub in the winter in the mountain is really cool. The change room was fancy! They even had push button hair gel dispensers and combs waiting in barber disinfectant for you to use. No straightener though, which
seems to be a requirement for mostly every one but me.... I passed on the combs, in case it was just blue toilet water masquerading as disinfectant. This is not a good week to have all my hair fall out.
  Off to breakfast!
Sorry, I am unable to upload pictures, but will add them in later when I can.