This will be an accumulated post - because most nights I am too tired to post. Truthfully though, one night I was tipsy and decided to practice safe blogging - which means no drunk blogging!
The days have been long, covering 300 - 450 +km per day, which doesn't sound like much to my car driving readers (all 3 of you) but is a lot for my butt, back, shoulder.... to handle. Three tanks of gas per day is enough.
Along the everything is relative theme - the temperatures have varied. Some mornings, or through the mountain passes its been down to 12.5C, which is a bit nippy at100+ km/hr. It's also been HOT. Once it passes 25C I start to feel the heat. Past 30C I start to get grouchy. We hit a high of 40.5- I went straight past grouchy all the way to bitchy! When you are riding along at 40C and the temp drops to 35, due to altitude change or whatever, all of a sudden 35 feels great, when it drops even further into the 20s, all of a sudden I'm thinking about bypassing the afternoon ice cream.
Now I'm going to tie road memories to child birth... Ready? Last year we went on a highway in California we call DH8, based on a series of motorbike road grading maps. My husband thought it was the best road he's been on. I thought it was pretty good too. Today we went on that road again...when we reached the halfway point and stopped for a Rockstar Energy drink (no they don't sponsor me, but I wish they did), First Lobster had a gigantic cheesy grin on his face - the road was everything he remembered and more. He was blissfully happy.
Me? Well, there's a reason women have more than one child. No matter how horrible your labor is, once the nurse hands you that beautiful baby you created, you forget everything bad that just happened. You get caught up in, "That wasn't so bad". When you start labor with the second child, all of the bad memories come crashing back at once and you suddenly remember that labor in fact is called labor for a reason. So at this halfway point, I'm thinking this is the worst road I've been on for a long time. It has everything I absolutely hate! Blind corners, blind corners with elevation changes, no warning signs, tar snakes...the list goes on, none of which mean anything to you non motorbikers. The road I had remembered as pretty good was absolutely horrible. But - the second half was everything I love - high speed sweeping corners with good sight lines, smooth elevation changes, blah, blah, blah. The memories of the second half had totally overwritten the memories of the first half of that road and all I was left with we're the good memories, which totally skewed my perception. Hmmm, maybe that's why First Lobster went on a second date with me...
The best of the misread business signs so far: "Cremation Society of the Cookies", which, on second reading was actually, "Cremation Society of the Rockies", which isn't really much better.
Best sign I have no idea what it meant: "Mosquito Signing at 7 pm" .....? I didn't know Mosquitos sang...
Friday, August 15, 2014
Sunday, August 10, 2014
Ride to Mullholland Drive Day 1 & 2
My husband First Lobster (FL) and I are riding to Los Angeles, specifically Mullholland Drive. Why? Because if you YouTube search for rnickeymouse you will see a corner that has some spectacular motorbike crashes on it. Apparently FL wants to see if we cansurvive the corner without crashing.
Motorbike holidays are all about the journey - the destination is just where you turn around and head home. The fun starts the moment you leave your driveway. In fact we made it just over an hour from home when we hit a huge traffic jam on the main highway to Calgary. We detoured - hello Millet and Wetaskiwin. Even when we could have returned to the main road - we stayed on the smaller highway. We drove through many small towns I've heard about and have never been too...and probably will never return to. It's odd to realize I've travelled to two other continents and haven't really explored my own province. Of course the fact that a large portion of my province is covered with farmer's fields and dead straight roads explains some of the lack of exploring.
Low point of the day... We passed a cattle hauler and were sprayed with green liquid coming off the back of the truck's slipstream. Yes, we rode through cow poop. Road kill count for the day, two foxes, a young deer and a skunk - only one of which we could smell.
Distance covered: 592 km, with a moving average of 96 km. Ate at Tim Horton's twice.
Day 2 - for some unknown reason our bodies have not gotten the message that we are on holidays - we woke up just after 5 am. We actually rolled out of the hotel around 9:00 am with clear skies and 12.5 C as a starting temperature.
We crossed the border at Careay without any issues - except FL got asked, very politely, to keep his hands out of his pockets while speaking with the border agent.
Montana has a "fake" speed limit on the open highway, more of a suggestion than a hard and fast rule. We sometimes obeyed it....
As the day went by, things heated up - literally...we reached a high of 35 C. For over an hour we travelled through the Missoula Valley baking our brains out and getting dehydrated. We stopped three times for second breakfast, elevenses and afternoon tea. Two of these stops involved highly caffeinated beverages.
Road kill count for the day- one deer and .... A cow....I have never seen a cow as road kill before...I wish I still hadn't.
Distance covered: 539 km, some of which were on very curvy roads. we crossed the continental divide.
Interesting fact of the day - I thought we drove by the shell of the space vehicle astronauts return from the ISS in, actually it was a metal frame of a teepee on its side....I think....
No Tim Hortons, but we did eat at one of FL's favorites, Famous Dave's BBQ. I think FL is doomed to suffer through the meat sweats tonight...
Motorbike holidays are all about the journey - the destination is just where you turn around and head home. The fun starts the moment you leave your driveway. In fact we made it just over an hour from home when we hit a huge traffic jam on the main highway to Calgary. We detoured - hello Millet and Wetaskiwin. Even when we could have returned to the main road - we stayed on the smaller highway. We drove through many small towns I've heard about and have never been too...and probably will never return to. It's odd to realize I've travelled to two other continents and haven't really explored my own province. Of course the fact that a large portion of my province is covered with farmer's fields and dead straight roads explains some of the lack of exploring.
Low point of the day... We passed a cattle hauler and were sprayed with green liquid coming off the back of the truck's slipstream. Yes, we rode through cow poop. Road kill count for the day, two foxes, a young deer and a skunk - only one of which we could smell.
Distance covered: 592 km, with a moving average of 96 km. Ate at Tim Horton's twice.
Day 2 - for some unknown reason our bodies have not gotten the message that we are on holidays - we woke up just after 5 am. We actually rolled out of the hotel around 9:00 am with clear skies and 12.5 C as a starting temperature.
We crossed the border at Careay without any issues - except FL got asked, very politely, to keep his hands out of his pockets while speaking with the border agent.
Montana has a "fake" speed limit on the open highway, more of a suggestion than a hard and fast rule. We sometimes obeyed it....
As the day went by, things heated up - literally...we reached a high of 35 C. For over an hour we travelled through the Missoula Valley baking our brains out and getting dehydrated. We stopped three times for second breakfast, elevenses and afternoon tea. Two of these stops involved highly caffeinated beverages.
Road kill count for the day- one deer and .... A cow....I have never seen a cow as road kill before...I wish I still hadn't.
Distance covered: 539 km, some of which were on very curvy roads. we crossed the continental divide.
Interesting fact of the day - I thought we drove by the shell of the space vehicle astronauts return from the ISS in, actually it was a metal frame of a teepee on its side....I think....
No Tim Hortons, but we did eat at one of FL's favorites, Famous Dave's BBQ. I think FL is doomed to suffer through the meat sweats tonight...
Saturday, March 22, 2014
More Inappropriate Behavior on the Airplane...
I got upgraded to the exit row again and this time the middle seat was empty...until about 1 minute before the door closed, when an employee of the airline grabbed the seat. Two minutes later she was given a seat in first class and things looked great. Darn it, I knew it was too good to last.
They moved a woman from the back up into the middle seat. She sits down and asks Azziz in the window seat and myself if we mind her eating a hamburger. Azziz immediately informs us he's high so he doesn't mind. Hmmmm, is Colorado one of those liberal drug use states? Well, right away Jenna let him know she was almost drunk. By the way, Jenna lost any idea of what an "inside voice" is.
Jenna proceeds to open her dinner package with a gigantic burger and a boat load of fries. Waves it about (literally) while discussing how sorry she is it has onions, for about three minutes before deciding she's not actually hungry. At this point she rings for the flight attendant. We haven't even left the gate and she wants a drink.
Through the two hour and 11 minute flight- Jenna relayed she's a home care nurse, she's done cocaine on numerous occasions, it's not good to do coke when you're hungry, we need more liberalized pot laws, what the pot laws are in California, how to drink on the beach without getting caught, what your chances are of getting checked for alcohol on the beach during spring break and various other less than appropriate airplane conversation topics.
I went to the bathroom at one point and I could hear her clearly eleven rows back. Btw- it was 11 o'clock at night and a fair number of people were trying to sleep. Jenna even clearly read my mind at one point when she told Azziz I wished she'd buy a movie and shut up for the rest of the flight.The flight attendant shushed her once, that was for swearing. I guess you can be as loud as you want as long as you don't curse.
Azziz is from Kuwait (which Jenna knew was in the middle east but did not know they are a rich country due to oil profits), he was raised a Muslim but no longer practices. He has four younger sisters who are all still in Kuwait. Azzizm has never heard of Mary Poppins and doesn't know what "supercalifragilisticexpialidocous" is. Jenna tried to sing the song for him, but she only knows the title word, so that didn't go over very well.
The big question for a while, sparking a heated debate, "Is Turkey in Europe or Asia"? Jenna said it was in the middle east, which is neither Europe or Asia. Some guy she knew fought with her saying Turkey is in Europe because he googled "map of Europe" and Turkey was on it. She discounted that as valid proof because...are you ready....when you look at a map of the United States, Canada and Mexico are on it too. Hmmm, wonder if she knows the difference between a country and a continent?
Despite having just met on the plane, they played a round of tonsil hockey after which she told him his kiss was soft and slightly slobbery. He thanked her for the compliment, she bluntly told him it wasn't a compliment.
The plane got to San Diego early (saving me at least ten minutes of further torture. Azzizm was out of there like a bullet leaving Jenna well behind him...
They moved a woman from the back up into the middle seat. She sits down and asks Azziz in the window seat and myself if we mind her eating a hamburger. Azziz immediately informs us he's high so he doesn't mind. Hmmmm, is Colorado one of those liberal drug use states? Well, right away Jenna let him know she was almost drunk. By the way, Jenna lost any idea of what an "inside voice" is.
Jenna proceeds to open her dinner package with a gigantic burger and a boat load of fries. Waves it about (literally) while discussing how sorry she is it has onions, for about three minutes before deciding she's not actually hungry. At this point she rings for the flight attendant. We haven't even left the gate and she wants a drink.
Through the two hour and 11 minute flight- Jenna relayed she's a home care nurse, she's done cocaine on numerous occasions, it's not good to do coke when you're hungry, we need more liberalized pot laws, what the pot laws are in California, how to drink on the beach without getting caught, what your chances are of getting checked for alcohol on the beach during spring break and various other less than appropriate airplane conversation topics.
I went to the bathroom at one point and I could hear her clearly eleven rows back. Btw- it was 11 o'clock at night and a fair number of people were trying to sleep. Jenna even clearly read my mind at one point when she told Azziz I wished she'd buy a movie and shut up for the rest of the flight.The flight attendant shushed her once, that was for swearing. I guess you can be as loud as you want as long as you don't curse.
Azziz is from Kuwait (which Jenna knew was in the middle east but did not know they are a rich country due to oil profits), he was raised a Muslim but no longer practices. He has four younger sisters who are all still in Kuwait. Azzizm has never heard of Mary Poppins and doesn't know what "supercalifragilisticexpialidocous" is. Jenna tried to sing the song for him, but she only knows the title word, so that didn't go over very well.
The big question for a while, sparking a heated debate, "Is Turkey in Europe or Asia"? Jenna said it was in the middle east, which is neither Europe or Asia. Some guy she knew fought with her saying Turkey is in Europe because he googled "map of Europe" and Turkey was on it. She discounted that as valid proof because...are you ready....when you look at a map of the United States, Canada and Mexico are on it too. Hmmm, wonder if she knows the difference between a country and a continent?
Despite having just met on the plane, they played a round of tonsil hockey after which she told him his kiss was soft and slightly slobbery. He thanked her for the compliment, she bluntly told him it wasn't a compliment.
The plane got to San Diego early (saving me at least ten minutes of further torture. Azzizm was out of there like a bullet leaving Jenna well behind him...
Friday, March 21, 2014
Scandal on the Airplane?
Am on a little trip for a work conference and am going to San Diego, where it is currently about 37 degrees C warmer than my house.
Breezed through US customs, the airport is much less busy at 2 pm than at 6 am Saturday morning. Only one screening line (didn't have to go through the CT scan booth) but 4 US customs agents on duty so there was NO lineup.
After my last experience at the airport, where I discovered the hard way that 1 L of water costs $5.42, I got smart and brought Subway and a bottle to fill with water. I was smugly eating my lunch and moved onto some rice cakes I packed, only to realize the (seemed minor at the time) suitcase rollover in the bathroom had turned my cakes into confetti. Ever tried to eat plain rice confetti? The fluff was everywhere. My shirt started out black and by the time I finished my bag 'o fluff, it looked like I had the worst case of dandruff ever - worse than Big Foot - (he probably has dandruff - having no Head and Shoulders shampoo). I was kind enough to do the wet dog shake over top of the garbage can before I boarded. Now the trash can looks like it was hit by a mini snow storm!
I got "upgraded" to the exit row! Super bonus with lots of leg room. My short legs didn't even reach under the chair in front of me. A lovely same gender couple sat a few rows behind me - they even had matching jewelly! In fact I think they got a bit carried away with trying to look like each other - had they not been holding hands I would have assumed they were twins!
Onto the possibly scandalous part!....a couple sat next to me. I'll call her Angelina and him Brad...Angelina was quite enamored with Brad, taking a selfie of the two of them as soon as we sat down and posting it as her profile picture on FB. Throughout the flight Angelina kept her arm linked through Brad's -nothing special so far right? A couple on their way to vacation. But then my spidey senses started tingling. They talked about odd things like which days he had taken off work and when their shift schedules would match up, they talked about which actresses he found appealing, and where he grew up. He asked if he could put his can of pop on her tray. Simple things that after 22 years of marriage, I already know about the guy I sleep with. Then he asked her about tagging Facebook pictures, did she tag him, and who would see it? She rushed to clarify she hadn't tagged him, and none of his friends would see it....hmmmm......I totally got the vibe they're sleeping together, they know each other from work and he doesn't want anyone to know they are away together...hmmmm...no rings on either of them (no ring tan lines either - but it's winter in Edmonton, so none expected). I saw them after we got off the plane, sharing a pretzel (which is not a euphemism for tonsil hockey, but an actual pretzel).
I am off to walk around the airport and will let you know if I see them again...or anyone else that might be involved in some nefarious doings!
Breezed through US customs, the airport is much less busy at 2 pm than at 6 am Saturday morning. Only one screening line (didn't have to go through the CT scan booth) but 4 US customs agents on duty so there was NO lineup.
After my last experience at the airport, where I discovered the hard way that 1 L of water costs $5.42, I got smart and brought Subway and a bottle to fill with water. I was smugly eating my lunch and moved onto some rice cakes I packed, only to realize the (seemed minor at the time) suitcase rollover in the bathroom had turned my cakes into confetti. Ever tried to eat plain rice confetti? The fluff was everywhere. My shirt started out black and by the time I finished my bag 'o fluff, it looked like I had the worst case of dandruff ever - worse than Big Foot - (he probably has dandruff - having no Head and Shoulders shampoo). I was kind enough to do the wet dog shake over top of the garbage can before I boarded. Now the trash can looks like it was hit by a mini snow storm!
I got "upgraded" to the exit row! Super bonus with lots of leg room. My short legs didn't even reach under the chair in front of me. A lovely same gender couple sat a few rows behind me - they even had matching jewelly! In fact I think they got a bit carried away with trying to look like each other - had they not been holding hands I would have assumed they were twins!
Onto the possibly scandalous part!....a couple sat next to me. I'll call her Angelina and him Brad...Angelina was quite enamored with Brad, taking a selfie of the two of them as soon as we sat down and posting it as her profile picture on FB. Throughout the flight Angelina kept her arm linked through Brad's -nothing special so far right? A couple on their way to vacation. But then my spidey senses started tingling. They talked about odd things like which days he had taken off work and when their shift schedules would match up, they talked about which actresses he found appealing, and where he grew up. He asked if he could put his can of pop on her tray. Simple things that after 22 years of marriage, I already know about the guy I sleep with. Then he asked her about tagging Facebook pictures, did she tag him, and who would see it? She rushed to clarify she hadn't tagged him, and none of his friends would see it....hmmmm......I totally got the vibe they're sleeping together, they know each other from work and he doesn't want anyone to know they are away together...hmmmm...no rings on either of them (no ring tan lines either - but it's winter in Edmonton, so none expected). I saw them after we got off the plane, sharing a pretzel (which is not a euphemism for tonsil hockey, but an actual pretzel).
I am off to walk around the airport and will let you know if I see them again...or anyone else that might be involved in some nefarious doings!
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