I got upgraded to the exit row again and this time the middle seat was empty...until about 1 minute before the door closed, when an employee of the airline grabbed the seat. Two minutes later she was given a seat in first class and things looked great. Darn it, I knew it was too good to last.
They moved a woman from the back up into the middle seat. She sits down and asks Azziz in the window seat and myself if we mind her eating a hamburger. Azziz immediately informs us he's high so he doesn't mind. Hmmmm, is Colorado one of those liberal drug use states? Well, right away Jenna let him know she was almost drunk. By the way, Jenna lost any idea of what an "inside voice" is.
Jenna proceeds to open her dinner package with a gigantic burger and a boat load of fries. Waves it about (literally) while discussing how sorry she is it has onions, for about three minutes before deciding she's not actually hungry. At this point she rings for the flight attendant. We haven't even left the gate and she wants a drink.
Through the two hour and 11 minute flight- Jenna relayed she's a home care nurse, she's done cocaine on numerous occasions, it's not good to do coke when you're hungry, we need more liberalized pot laws, what the pot laws are in California, how to drink on the beach without getting caught, what your chances are of getting checked for alcohol on the beach during spring break and various other less than appropriate airplane conversation topics.
I went to the bathroom at one point and I could hear her clearly eleven rows back. Btw- it was 11 o'clock at night and a fair number of people were trying to sleep. Jenna even clearly read my mind at one point when she told Azziz I wished she'd buy a movie and shut up for the rest of the flight.The flight attendant shushed her once, that was for swearing. I guess you can be as loud as you want as long as you don't curse.
Azziz is from Kuwait (which Jenna knew was in the middle east but did not know they are a rich country due to oil profits), he was raised a Muslim but no longer practices. He has four younger sisters who are all still in Kuwait. Azzizm has never heard of Mary Poppins and doesn't know what "supercalifragilisticexpialidocous" is. Jenna tried to sing the song for him, but she only knows the title word, so that didn't go over very well.
The big question for a while, sparking a heated debate, "Is Turkey in Europe or Asia"? Jenna said it was in the middle east, which is neither Europe or Asia. Some guy she knew fought with her saying Turkey is in Europe because he googled "map of Europe" and Turkey was on it. She discounted that as valid proof because...are you ready....when you look at a map of the United States, Canada and Mexico are on it too. Hmmm, wonder if she knows the difference between a country and a continent?
Despite having just met on the plane, they played a round of tonsil hockey after which she told him his kiss was soft and slightly slobbery. He thanked her for the compliment, she bluntly told him it wasn't a compliment.
The plane got to San Diego early (saving me at least ten minutes of further torture. Azzizm was out of there like a bullet leaving Jenna well behind him...
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